The world of dating is constantly evolving, and with the rise of social media and online communication, new trends and terms are popping up all the time. From “tolyamory” to “orange peel” and “Dorito” dating tests, there’s always something new to discover. But the latest trend that has caught everyone’s attention is “pebbling” – a penguin-inspired dating trend that is taking over social media.
If you’re not familiar with the term, let me explain. According to a viral TikTok video by @jakeyboiarts, pebbling means giving “someone a bunch of something because you’re thinking about them, for example, a penguin that gives a pebble to another penguin they love.” Essentially, it’s a way of showing someone you care by sending them videos, memes, or other online content that reminds you of them.
But what does this have to do with dating? Well, it doesn’t have to be limited to romantic relationships. Another TikTok video by autism-specializing therapist @myautistictherapist suggests that for many autistic people, sharing love means giving information – or “pebbling” facts, as it were. This can apply to friends and family as well as partners. As the therapist says, “A lot of the autistic people on this app are showing the world love by sharing what they know.” And really, isn’t that a beautiful way to express love for someone?
Of course, the trend has taken on a romantic hue on social media, especially since it’s based on the Gentoo penguin’s habit of giving pebbles to their mates as a symbol of love and commitment. And it seems like the experts approve too. According to relationship expert Gigi Engle, “Pebbling started with the advent of meme sending as a form of creating a connection with people… It can definitely strengthen a relationship because it’s similar to sending a message saying, ‘I saw this and thought of you.'”
But is pebbling always a good thing? Like with any trend, it’s important to remember that moderation is key. As app user @jakeyboiarts mentions in their TikTok, opening your phone to “hundreds” of notifications can be overwhelming for some people (myself included). And as Engle points out, pebbling can also set an expectation of constant communication in a relationship, which may not be sustainable in the long run.
In an article for Metro.co.uk, dating expert Drew Wyllie of Pure dating app advises, “What is deemed sweet and thoughtful for someone may be irrelevant for someone else.” He suggests making a mental note of your partner’s likes and dislikes, as well as their daily behaviors, so you can make your pebbles more relevant and meaningful to them.
Furthermore, Psychology Today reminds us that pebbling should not be the only form of communication in a relationship. While it can be a fun and cute way to connect with your partner, it should not replace deeper and more meaningful conversations. As the article states, “the memes should be a jumping-off point for deeper connections and not your main romantic meeting point.”
But if you and your partner have a sweet meme exchange going, then why not keep it going? After all, as the Gentoo penguins show us, small gestures of love and thoughtfulness can go a long way in strengthening a relationship. So if you’re feeling inspired by this penguin-inspired trend, go ahead and send your loved ones a pebble or two, whether it’s in the form of a meme, a fact, or a small gift. After all, it’s the little things that count.
In conclusion, pebbling may be a new trend, but the idea behind it is not. Giving small gifts, sharing information, and showing thoughtfulness towards loved ones have been a part of relationships for as long as love has existed. So whether you’re an avid pebbler or not, let’s all take a cue from the Gentoo penguins and keep the love and thoughtfulness flowing in our relationships. And remember, as with any trend, it’s all about finding a balance and making sure it’s relevant and meaningful to the person you’re pebbling. So go ahead and spread some love through pebbling, but don’t forget to have those deeper conversations too.
