It has long been established that physical punishment, such as smacking, is harmful and abusive to a child’s development. In fact, in many countries, it is illegal for parents to use physical punishment on their children. However, there is another form of abuse that is often overlooked and not talked about – verbal abuse. This type of abuse is now recognized as one of the most prevalent forms of child maltreatment, and experts are calling for action to be taken to prevent it.
Today, Sharon Hodgson MP, the charity Words Matter, and a group of experts are coming together to discuss the critical need for verbal abuse prevention in children. Verbal abuse can take many forms, including blaming, insulting, scolding, criticizing, or threatening children. It may not leave physical scars, but the damage it causes can be just as harmful, if not more so, than physical or sexual abuse.
We have all heard the saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” However, according to Professor Andrea Danese, an expert in child and adolescent psychiatry at King’s College London (KCL), this saying is wrong. “Words can harm a child’s wellbeing and development, and leave lifelong psychological scars,” he explains.
In a survey conducted by Words Matter, children were asked which words uttered by adults were the most hurtful and upsetting. The top five responses were: “You’re useless,” “You’re stupid,” “You can’t do anything right,” “You’re worthless,” and “I’m ashamed of you.” These words may seem harmless to some, but they can have a profound impact on a child’s self-esteem and sense of self-worth.
According to Professor Eamon McCrory, an expert in developmental neuroscience at UCL, the damage from verbal abuse can be “equally if not more harmful” than physical or sexual abuse. “Verbal abuse can profoundly shape an individual’s sense of self, their behavior, and relationships, increasing the risk of anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and self-harm,” he explains. Brain imaging research has also shown that abuse, including verbal abuse, can have significant biological impacts, such as changes in brain structure and connectivity, and altering how the brain processes everyday experiences.
Verbal abuse is not something that can be seen with the naked eye, but its consequences are very real, both psychologically and biologically. “It is one of the most preventable causes of mental health problems,” says Professor Peter Fonagy, head of the division of psychology and language sciences at UCL. “Harsh words can actively weaken the brain’s foundation during development, leading to long-term effects such as anxiety, depression, eating disorders, sleep difficulties, substance misuse, self-harm, and even suicide.”
Despite the prevalence and harmful effects of verbal abuse, it has remained under the radar compared to physical and sexual abuse. A survey by Words Matter found that two in five children (41%) have experienced verbal abuse from the adults around them, mainly parents, carers, teachers, and activity leaders/coaches. Sharon Hodgson MP acknowledges that while important progress has been made in tackling physical and sexual abuse through awareness and intervention, verbal abuse has not received the same attention.
So, what can be done to tackle this issue? The charity Words Matter is calling for verbal abuse prevention to become a core focus for the government. This would involve training, awareness, and support for all adults in children’s lives. Jessica Bondy, the charity’s founder, emphasizes the importance of this issue, stating, “Neuroscience shows clearly that verbal abuse profoundly harms children’s developing brains.” She adds, “If the government truly wants the healthiest generation in history, tackling verbal abuse must become a core part of the national mental health strategy – urgently recognized, systematically monitored, and proactively prevented.”
Bondy also believes that small shifts in language today can have a significant impact on children’s lives and futures. Professor Peter Fonagy agrees, stating that children need “kind, supportive communication” from adults. “It’s vital for building their identity and emotional resilience,” he adds.
HuffPost UK has reached out to the government for comment and will update the piece when a response is received. It is time for verbal abuse to be recognized as a serious issue and for action to be taken to prevent it. Let us all work together to create a safe and nurturing environment for our children, where they are protected
