Weddings are often portrayed as the happiest day of a woman’s life. The image of a bride in a beautiful white dress, surrounded by loved ones, is a common one. But what happens when the woman in the wedding dress is running away?
This scenario may seem like something out of a romantic comedy, but for one Redditor, it was a reality. In a post on Reddit’s r/AITAH (Am I The Asshole Here), user u/Helpful_Remote1682 shared her story of breaking up with her partner after he falsely promised marriage as a condition for living together. This raises the question of when couples should talk about marriage and what to do if one partner feels like they have been left waiting for too long.
According to the Office of National Statistics, cohabiting couples (who aren’t married) are on the rise, with the number increasing from 19.7% in 2012 to 22.7% in 2022. This trend suggests that more and more couples are choosing to live together without getting married. However, for u/Helpful_Remote1682, this “cohabitation period” had gone on for about a year too long.
In her post, the Redditor shared that she had been with her partner for five years and had begun discussing marriage in their second year together. They had even put all their cards on the table, including deal breakers and expectations. One of these expectations was that they would only move in together if they were engaged. Her partner had promised to propose before the end of the year, but two years later, there was still no engagement.
Feeling frustrated and tired of waiting, u/Helpful_Remote1682 decided to break up with her partner and move out of their shared home when their lease ended. This decision also affected her ex-partner’s ability to keep his own home, which he needed to maintain joint custody of his children. Despite her partner’s attempts to talk things out, the Redditor felt that she had been doing most of the work in the relationship and didn’t want to be strung along for another two years.
The post sparked a discussion about when couples should talk about marriage and what to do if one partner feels like they have been left waiting for too long. We spoke to experts about this issue, and they shared their insights and advice.
Trisha Sanders, a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Wholefamily Therapy & Wellness, believes that being open about marriage from early on is recommended. She acknowledges that talking about engagement rings on the first date may be too much, but broaching the topic early on can help both partners determine if they are on the same page.
Sanders also points out that there is no specific amount of time that should pass before a partner is “meant” to be ready for marriage. However, she advises against using ultimatums or pointed queries to pressure a partner into marriage. Instead, she suggests having open and meaningful conversations where both partners can listen to each other’s perspectives without taking things personally.
If these conversations don’t lead to progress in the relationship, it may be a sign that the couple is not compatible in terms of their needs and desires for commitment. In such cases, it may be better to end the relationship and find someone who shares the same values and goals.
In conclusion, the story of the woman in the wedding dress running away may seem like a dramatic and extreme scenario, but it highlights the importance of communication and being on the same page in a relationship. While there is no set timeline for when couples should talk about marriage, it is essential to have open and honest conversations about expectations and deal breakers early on. And if one partner feels like they have been waiting for too long, it may be a sign that the relationship is not right for them.
