StolenTime in St Lucia: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Healing
When I was invited to jet away to St Lucia on a sexual wellness retreat, I couldn’t have been more excited. A week of sun, sea, sand, and sex talk? It sounded like the perfect escape from my busy life as a journalist. Little did I know that this trip would be so much more than just a vacation.
The retreat, called StolenTime, was held at the Rendezvous resort on the western side of St Lucia. It was curated by sexual wellness expert and author Clio Wood, and included sessions such as Women’s Sexuality and the Male Gaze, Our Journey as Women, Getting Your Mojo Back, Getting Low – How Mental Health Affects Libido, Your Pleasure Toolkit, Body – How the Physical Self Changes Over Time, and Self Advocacy. As someone who writes about sex and relationships, I thought this would be a great opportunity to relax and enjoy the Caribbean sunshine.
But what I didn’t expect was to be confronted with a long-buried secret and actually deal with it.
The retreat was held in a beach studio, a little slice of paradise with the island sun lighting the room and the sound of waves just feet away. At first, I was nervous about being in a room with four strangers and discussing my sex life. But Clio created such a safe and comfortable space that even the shyest person would feel at ease. After each session, we would relax on the beach, by the pool, or in the lazy river – the perfect way to decompress. And of course, there were cocktails involved, especially when Clio brought us an array of vibrators and sexual aids, much to the amusement of other resort guests.
As the week went on, I was deeply touched by the vulnerability of my fellow guests. They shared their struggles and worries about their relationships with sex, creating an environment where it felt natural for me to share my own. And being thousands of miles away from home and my usual life, I felt more relaxed and open to confronting my own issues.
The sessions were not just about discussing sexual positions or preferences. We delved into deeper topics such as “sexual currency,” pelvic floor exercises, our lack of knowledge about our reproductive organs, and the impact of mental health on libido. It was an opportunity to reflect on habits and patterns that we may have unknowingly fallen into, and how to address them.
As the week came to an end, I realized that something was holding me back when it came to sex and pleasure. I couldn’t pinpoint the cause, but I knew I was reluctant to be present in my own body in intimate settings. And then, during one session, Clio asked a seemingly simple question that rocked me to my core: “What’s your favorite body part?”
As my fellow guests shared their answers – “legs,” “bum,” “décolletage” – and complimented each other, I felt a lump in my throat. When it was my turn, I couldn’t hold back the tears as I admitted, “I hate every single part.” It was a realization that I had been pushing down and hiding for years. A week of vulnerability and necessary truths orchestrated by Clio had led to this moment, where I finally felt safe enough to face my reality.
My group enveloped me with compassion and understanding. There was no judgement, just support and the realization that we all have struggles when it comes to body image and self-acceptance. It was a relief to share my insecurities and know that I was not alone.
As I lay on the beach after that emotional session, I felt exhausted but also mentally lighter. And in my private session with Clio, we discussed the importance of getting help when I returned home. It all clicked together – my sexual dissociation, my body dysmorphia, my fake confidence, my shame. And for the first time, everything made sense.
Since my return to the UK, I have gone back to therapy to address my body dysmorphia and have a renewed understanding of how to recognize when it’s getting worse. This retreat was not just a fun week in the sun chatting about sex – it was a journey of self-discovery and healing that I will forever be grateful for.
If you ever have the opportunity to attend one of Clio Wood’s retreats at StolenTime, I highly recommend it. It
