Gideon, Kian, Gil and Keith share their stories about sex and the emotional disconnects that men experience in the UK. In the words of Salt-N-Pepa, let’s talk about sex – a topic that is often uncomfortable and taboo. However, in 2025, conversations about sex have become more commonplace thanks to a cultural shift that encourages emotional openness. But, according to new data, men are still struggling to have honest and open conversations about sex.
A recent survey by Lovehoney, the UK’s leading sexual wellness brand, revealed that 40% of men worry about their sexual performance, compared to just 21% of women. This shows that men are still facing deep emotional disconnects when it comes to sex, intimacy and identity. The survey also found that many men avoid having honest conversations with their partners, with 10% of men wanting to talk more openly about sex but not doing so – equivalent to over 2.25 million male adults.
These worries about sex are not limited to a particular age group – the survey found that 79% of men from different generations have concerns about sex. This percentage increases to 86% for Gen Z men and 87% for Millennial men. This data speaks volumes about modern masculinity, according to GP and men’s health expert, Dr Anand Patel, who has partnered with Lovehoney.
“We are living in a time where men are expected to be emotionally open and sexually confident, but also maintain control. This can result in performance anxiety, miscommunication, and at times, a complete disconnect,” says Dr Patel.
So, what do men in the UK really think about sex in 2025? And how do these worries differ across different generations? To find out, we spoke to Gideon, Kian, Gil and Keith – four men from different generations who have shared their experiences of sex, dating and identity. Through their stories, they aim to break stereotypes and give a voice to the often overlooked male perspectives on sex.
“It’s magic, not a miracle” – Gideon, 27, Gen Z
From a young age, Gideon Allen knew he was different. “I just had this spark within me,” he recalls. “I was obsessed with crystals and mermaids. It spoke to something inside of me.” Now, at 27, Gideon is a gay actor and part-time witch, living in Liverpool. He is a man who embraces mysticism, kink and a no-BS approach to dating.
“People often ask me why I haven’t used my magic to find a boyfriend,” he laughs. “But magic is not a miracle. You can only do so much.” Despite his openness about kink and communication, Gideon is currently single and unimpressed by the dating scene.
“Many men tend to exaggerate their sexual abilities, but when it comes down to it, they are lackluster. All bark and no bite,” he says. As a gay man, Gideon is also frustrated with being used as someone else’s experimental phase.
“One of my biggest pet peeves is straight men who flirt with me or make suggestive moves, but then dismiss it as a joke. It’s not flattering, it’s just exhausting,” he shares. “It’s like I become their secret, a way for them to explore without being judged. This secrecy is not only isolating, but also emotionally draining.”
Gideon believes in the power of intention when it comes to intimacy. He typically waits three days before sleeping with someone, not because he is prudish, but because he believes that intimacy should be meaningful and intentional.
“In the gay community, there is often pressure for immediate gratification. But I think a little waiting creates trust and helps me feel emotionally and physically safe,” he explains.
While Gideon does not claim to practice black magic, he admits to performing spells on occasions. “I have voodoo dolls in my room, but I don’t stick pins in them,” he says mischievously. “Let’s just say people who cross me tend to have bad luck. They lose their jobs, fall down the stairs, or their hairlines recede. Was it me? Who knows. But I like to think it was.”
However, for now, Gideon has put his love life on pause. “Honestly, it feels like most men don’t know what they are doing – emotionally, sexually, or in communication
