Holding hands is a simple yet powerful gesture that can speak volumes about a couple’s relationship. It is a physical connection that symbolizes love, trust, and support. But as with any relationship, it takes effort and commitment to keep the spark alive. This is where the 2-2-2 rule comes in, as suggested by Dr Candice Cooper-Lovett, a certified sex therapist. However, there is another rule that has been making waves on social media – the ‘3-6-9’ rule.
TikTok user Annabelle Gesson recently shared the ‘3-6-9’ rule in a viral video. According to her, the first three months of dating are considered the honeymoon phase, where everything is easy and fun. But as the relationship progresses, the three to six-month mark may bring some rocky patches. By the nine-month mark, the couple should have settled into a routine, which is a sign that they are meant to be together.
We spoke to relationship therapist and author at Passionerad, Sofie Roos, to get her thoughts on this viral rule. While she believes that every relationship is unique, she agrees that these three-month blocks represent significant psychological changes in how we interact and connect with a new partner.
Roos explains that in the first three months, we experience an overwhelming rush of feel-good chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin. This is when we form connections based on fun, novelty, and attraction. However, as the relationship progresses, the six-to-nine-month mark is where emotional intimacy truly begins to deepen or stall completely.
“This is the pivotal point in a relationship where couples stop asking if they like their partner, but if the relationship is serving them, and whether there is a chance at a longer-term relationship,” Roos shares with HuffPost UK.
While the 3-6-9 rule may seem simplistic, it follows the subconscious timeline that many new couples slip into. It helps us understand the natural progression of a relationship and prepares us for the challenges that may arise.
Roos also emphasizes that every relationship is different, and the 3-6-9 rule should not be seen as a failsafe way of gauging a relationship’s longevity. However, it can be a valuable tool to help couples pace themselves and set realistic expectations.
“In many ways, couples who go through the first six months together have something that indicates they’re starting something strong together!” Roos adds.
But what about the nine-month mark? Is it really a significant milestone? According to Roos, it is. While relationships are more complex than the 3-6-9 rule, she believes that it is a good framework to keep in mind when entering a new relationship that you hope will become serious and long-lasting.
“The best thing about the rule is that it helps you to have realistic expectations on a new relationship and prepares you for the fact that not everything will feel amazing and perfect all the time, but that it gets better and more stable,” Roos explains.
It’s important to note that every relationship is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Some couples may reach the nine-month mark and realize that they are not meant to be together, while others may continue to grow and strengthen their bond. The key is to communicate openly and honestly with your partner and be willing to put in the effort to make the relationship work.
In conclusion, while the 2-2-2 rule and the 3-6-9 rule may not be foolproof methods for a successful relationship, they can serve as helpful guidelines for couples to navigate the ups and downs of a new relationship. Ultimately, it’s about finding a balance between maintaining the spark and building a strong foundation for a lasting relationship. So, whether you’re at the three-month mark or the nine-month mark, remember to hold hands and keep the love alive.
