The silhouette of a woman has long been a symbol of beauty, grace, and sensuality. It is a timeless image that has been celebrated in art, fashion, and media. But beyond its aesthetic appeal, the woman’s silhouette also holds a deeper meaning – one that speaks to the power and strength of women.
In recent years, there has been a growing conversation around the topic of sex and intimacy in relationships. From discussions about what is considered “normal” to the benefits of scheduling intimacy, the topic has been widely explored. However, sex therapist Vanessa Marin has introduced a new concept that may change the way we approach intimacy in relationships – the “fuck first” rule.
The term, coined by advice columnist Dan Savage, is exactly what it sounds like – having sex before going out on a date night. Marin explains that this can increase the likelihood of intimacy, as it can be difficult to get in the mood after a night of eating, drinking, and staying up late. But is this a good idea? I spoke to sex and relationship therapist Sofie Roos for her thoughts.
According to Roos, the “fuck first” rule is a smart idea, as long as it is not taken too seriously. It is not about scheduling sex and taking away from the spontaneity and heat of the moment. Instead, it is about being open to the idea of getting intimate before going out, without planning for it. If it feels right in the moment, go for it. If not, save it for later.
Aside from making going to bed after a long night more enjoyable, Roos explains that this can also prime you with bonding chemicals like oxytocin and dopamine. These chemicals can make you feel more relaxed, happy, and energized, as well as more connected to your partner. And if you are in the mood when you return home, what’s stopping you from getting intimate again?
Roos also points out that by having sex before going out, the expectation to have great sex when you come home goes away. This can actually open you up to having more spontaneous sex later. It also means that you don’t only get intimate because it feels expected as a part of a good date night.
But the “fuck first” rule can also be expanded to include other forms of intimacy. Roos suggests that you can explore different kinds of intimacy with this philosophy. By questioning why we feel compelled to end the night with sex, rather than begin it, we may discover that we crave non-sexual forms of intimacy, such as cuddling.
While this may not work or feel natural for all couples, it is a good reminder that sometimes, all we have to do to make a big change in our sex life is to mess with our normal routine. As Roos says, “The point of this rule is not to schedule sex, but to prioritize it in moments where you normally don’t have it, and when you have more energy for it. I think this is an easy, fun, exciting, and slightly rebellious way of exploring that!”
In conclusion, the “fuck first” rule may be a simple and effective way to spice up your sex life and create a stronger connection with your partner. It challenges traditional notions of intimacy and encourages us to think outside the box. So next time you have a date night planned, consider giving the “fuck first” rule a try – you never know where it might lead.