Lewis Capaldi has always been a relatable musician, with his soulful ballads and chronically online sense of humor. But little did I know that I had a lot more in common with him than I realized. Recently, he made a triumphant return to Glastonbury, two years after his meltdown on that very stage. Needless to say, we were all happy to see him back. But how did he get to this point? Capaldi opened up about his mental health struggles during an interview on “This Past Weekend with Theo Von,” where he revealed that, as part of his mental health treatment, he was prescribed antipsychotics.
“It was really scary when they offered it,” he admitted. “Anti-psychotic? I’m like, ‘I’m not psychotic.’ But it’s changed my life. My anxiety levels are so low these days. I don’t feel the stress.”
A total of 1 in 69 people in the UK take anti-psychotics long-term, but we never hear anybody talking about it. And Capaldi encapsulated the exact reason why: anti-psychotics are scary. Terrifying, even. The word “psychotic” instantly conjures up images of violent, erratic caricatures like Norman Bates or Jack Nicholson in “The Shining.”
But the truth is a lot more boring. Many mental health conditions, including anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and, yes, psychosis, are affected by the levels of dopamine in the brain. While dopamine is often thought of as the brain’s reward center, dysregulation in that part of the brain can lead to several mental health issues.
As someone who was diagnosed with OCD nearly eight years ago, I know firsthand how dysregulation can affect a person. OCD gets its name from the two components of the illness: the obsessions and the compulsions. There are a lot of different types of OCD, but they’re all underpinned by intrusive thoughts—which, to be clear, are a lot more complex than deciding to give yourself a wacky haircut. These thoughts can be so frightening that you’ll literally do anything to stop them, and that’s where the compulsions come in. They are repetitive actions you take to make yourself feel safe.
My type of OCD, known as “Pure O,” is especially complex because all these compulsions and rituals become mental. I would spend hours at a time trying to reason with myself and end up stuck in an endless loop. It was nothing short of self-inflicted torture.
Still, I’ll admit, when a doctor first floated the idea of taking antipsychotics for my OCD in 2021, I had the same reaction as Capaldi. While my mental health was suffering, I was equally as worried about what people would think—and it was this stigma that led me to turn down a medication which, in hindsight, I definitely needed.
But my OCD proceeded to crash two years later. It metastasized into something called “treatment-resistant OCD,” which occurs when your condition doesn’t respond to the typical antidepressants one takes for OCD.
At that point, I was so terrified of my own brain that I was willing to do anything to make it stop. So, I was prescribed a tiny little pill called aripiprazole. And that tiny pill honestly changed my life. Within a day of taking it, the noise in my head lessened. Sure, the intrusive thoughts were still there, but they felt more manageable. For the first time in months, I was able to semi-function again.
Looking back, it makes me sad to think that I could’ve prevented my breakdown from happening by breaking free from the cycle of shame. But even now, I remain acutely aware of the stigma associated with antipsychotics. When I go to collect my prescription, I practically whisper to the pharmacist because I’m so worried about standing out. The last thing I want is for someone to overhear and assume that I’m some maniacal serial killer.
Let me be clear: there’s nothing to be ashamed of if you’re struggling with psychosis and take antipsychotics to treat it. The stigma affects all of us, regardless of our reasons for taking the medication.
This is why Capaldi speaking up about using antipsychotics to treat anxiety disorders is so important. While he has always been relatable, we can’t underestimate the power of a public figure being
