Ever since I was a child, my best friend’s mother, Mary Therese, was the epitome of strength and independence to me. Despite being a widow at a young age, she took care of her four children on her own and never let her struggles affect her love for life. She was a free spirit who taught us to always keep our spirits high no matter what life throws our way.
One summer afternoon in 1978, while playing a game of Monopoly, Mary Therese made a bold statement that caught my attention. “You know the easiest way to burn the most calories, right, girls?” she said, leaning against the doorframe. Without waiting for a response, she continued, “Sex. You can burn up to 1500 calories.”
At the age of nine, the idea of burning calories through sex mostly went over my head, but I was still intrigued. Mary Therese nudged me to tell my mother, who was struggling with her weight and constantly going to Weight Watchers. But my mother, like most mothers of the time, never openly discussed sex.
My childhood was filled with days spent with my best friend Regina, Mary Therese’s daughter. We were oblivious to the idea that life could suddenly turn upside down until one day when Regina’s father, who was a pilot, didn’t come back from a flying lesson. They had crashed into North Mountain, just down the street from our neighborhood.
I couldn’t fully understand the concept of death at that age. It didn’t make sense to me that we were just playing one day and the next, Regina’s whole world had changed. Mary Therese, who was already struggling with her own battles, was now left to raise four children under the age of 14 on her own.
At the age of 38, Mary Therese had already experienced more loss and heartache than most people do in a lifetime. But she never let it break her spirit. She made the brave decision to move her family to Ohio, and I was devastated as I watched Regina’s life and our friendship being uprooted.
For a year, Regina and I wrote letters to each other, trying to hold on to our friendship despite the distance. But as we grew older, life and responsibilities got in the way, and we lost touch. Two decades passed before one day, I received a message from Regina. She had moved back to Phoenix, and wanted to reconnect with me. It felt like memories of our childhood blew in like a monsoon, and I couldn’t wait to be reunited with my childhood friend.
Three months later, I was standing on Regina’s doorstep, sweating from the Arizona heat and feeling a mix of nerves and anticipation. Regina opened the door, a plump toddler on her hip, and the years seemed to vanish as we were transported back to our childhood friendship.
But the real surprise was yet to come. In walked Mary Therese, looking as radiant as ever with her beautifully done hair and pink lipstick. She had come to Phoenix to support her daughter and be there for her first grandchild. And in that moment, I saw her not just as Regina’s mother, but as a strong woman in her own right.
Over the next few days, Regina and I caught up on all the lost time, and Mary Therese joined in on the fun. We talked about our childhood adventures and all the possibilities that lay ahead of us in the future. We laughed and shared stories, and it felt like we were the two little girls rollerskating in matching swimsuits once again.
But amidst the fun and laughter, Mary Therese saw that I was struggling with my own battles. I had recently gone through a divorce and was at a crossroads in my life. One night, over a glass of wine, she offered to be my secretary if I ever needed one.
At first, I laughed it off, not realizing that the offer was a serious one. But a few months later, when I found myself struggling as a new principal at a small charter school, I decided to take her up on her offer. And it turned out to be the best decision I could have made.
Mary Therese brought her wealth of knowledge and experience to the school, serving as the office manager, director’s secretary, human relations go-to, and staff social worker. She single-handedly transformed the school, and I marvelled at her strength and determination every day.
I couldn’t believe that
